Where to Buy The Original Porch Goose™
Looking to give your porch that perfectly poised, fashionably feathered flair? The Original Porch Goose™ is ready to stand guard, strike a pose, and single-wingedly elevate your curb appeal. 🪿✨
You can spot our geese in the wild at a few fabulous New Jersey shops (listed below), or catch us on one of our regular delivery routes across NJ. Yep—free delivery is available on select routes, but you'll need to pre-order your honker-in-arms to secure a spot. Reach out and we’ll hatch a plan.
.png)
.png)
.png)
.png)
.png)
.png)
Why You Absolutely, Unequivocally, Unflappably Need a Porch Goose
(Yes, you. Right now.)
Welcome to the world of The Original Porch Goose™—a world where whimsy waddles up to your doorstep and honks, “You belong here.”
You might be thinking: “Do I really need a life-sized, hand-painted, cast stone goose on my porch?”
Friend… you need it like bread needs butter. Like rain needs puddles. Like a goose needs pants.
Meet the Goose of Your Dreams
She’s 82 pounds of hefty honker charm. Made of cast stone. Painted with a dry brush technique so realistic your neighbor will do a double take (and then ask where she can get one too). She doesn't blow over. She doesn't squawk. She's proudly made in America, built to last, and guaranteed to increase property values by at least a few smiles per square foot.
Or go petite with our Desktop Goose™, a manageable 12.5 lbs of desk-side joy. Easy to move, fun to dress, and absolutely essential to your mental wellness (probably).
.png)
.png)
Dress Her Up!
Each Porch Goose™ can be styled in baby clothes (yes, actual baby clothes). Raincoats. Ball gowns. Seasonal sweaters. You name it. She wears it with feathered flair.
Feeling low? She’s there.
Celebrating a birthday? She’s dressed for it.
Hosting a cookout? She’s your greeter.
Annoyed at your HOA? She's your silent protest.
Send a Goose-A-Gram™
Want to gift someone a giggle? Our Goose-A-Gram™ mails a 12.5 lb dressed goose—yes, dressed—to anyone in the continental US. Choose the outfit, add a custom goose-styled message, and honk, it’s in the mail.
(Just wait until you see the gingham packaging.)
Host a Paint-Your-Own Silly Goose™ Party
Gather your gaggle and let’s get silly. We bring the geese, the paint, the brushes, the setup, and the vibes. You bring your people and your questionable painting skills. Everyone leaves with their very own Desktop Goose™ and a heart full of laughter. Great for birthdays, showers, or random Thursdays.
Why You'll Love Your Goose:
-
Built to Last: Cast stone, weatherproof, and artfully painted.
-
Completely Loyal: Will never leave you for the neighbor's yard.
-
Zero Maintenance: No feeding, walking, or training.
-
Fashion Forward: Way more stylish than your ex.
-
Guaranteed Attention: People will stop and honk.
💙 You don’t need a Porch Goose™…
...until you have one. And then you’ll wonder how you ever lived without her.
Order yours today. Your porch deserves this kind of love.
The Original Porch Goose™
Silly. Stunning. Stone-cold fabulous.
.png)
.png)
.png)
